Chub

I took my baby to a party the other day and this woman had a cute nickname for those Michelin-man like extra baby upper-thigh creases. Damn, what was it?

Nightmares

Now that I have a baby, I have nightmares about bad things happening to her. So far in my dreams she's been torched, drowned, and kidnapped. Ugh.

Sugar Binge

I was on a strict diet for gestational diabetes for 9 months and have been catching up on my unhealthy eating since giving birth. Some of the items I'd been missing: Thai ice coffee, See's candy, Jack in the Box milkshakes, peanut-butter-and-chocolate ice cream, frappucinos. I still have not had an ice cream sundae though. Nor have I had a donut. I've got to get on that.

When you're hiccupping, no one can hear you scream

It's kind of funny when my baby wants to cry at the top of her lungs, but the hiccups interrupt her. (She has a lot of gas pain these days; We aren't beating her or anything)

Veruca Salt's Golden Goose Song Lyrics from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Gooses, geeses
I want my geese to lay gold eggs for Easter
(It will sweetheart)
At least a hundred a day
(Anything you say)
And by the way
(What?)
I want a feast
(You ate before you came to the factory)
I want a bean feast
(Oh, one of those)
Cream buns and doughnuts and fruitcake with no nuts so good you could go nuts
(You can have all those things when you get home)
No now

I want a ball
I want a party
Pink macaroons and a million balloons and performing baboons
And give it to me now

I want the world
I want the whole world
I want to lock it all up in my pocket
It's my bar of chocolate
Give it to me now

I want a today
I want tomorrow
I want to wear 'em like braids in my hair and I don't want to share 'em

I want a party with room-fulls of laughter
Ten thousand tons of ice cream
And if I don't get the things I am after
I'm going to scream

I want the works
I want the whole works
Presents and prizes and sweets and surprises
Of all shapes and sizes and now

Don't care how I want it now
Don't care how I want it now

Breastfeeding blues / Weirdass shit

Not much time to blog with a newborn in the house. Today one of my breasts hurt a lot and I thought it was just engorged. Then, I read up on blocked milk ducts and mastitis and I think it was just a blocked milk duct. I put hot towels on it and actually felt something pop inside. It felt better afterwards.

I would like to blog about my labor and stuff, but don't know if I'll get to it. Maybe you readers are better off.

Blessed

The past eleven days have been challenging, but I'm so happy to have given birth to an adorable little girl and we are both doing well. The past few days have not been so kind to others I know. I just learned Richard Sandman, a friend of my sister's, passed away. So sad! He was very young.

My luxurious vacation / maternity leave

Gigantic baby is pushing my insides. Help.

The Art of Bret Falk

I get quite a few hits on this blog from people searching for Bret Falk. Bret passed away in 2006, but if you have a yen to revisit his artwork, his brother, Steve, put together a book Bob Hope Is Dead: The Collected Works of Bret Falk. Check it out, yo.

An Easter Wish

I hope this trend of manufacturing stuffed animals dressed up as other stuffed animals never ends.